In emotional counseling and online mysticism, the term “right affinity” (zheng yuan) is extremely popular, often portrayed as a destined, perfectly compatible soulmate. Many people link the so-called “right affinity” to the Buddhist theory of Dependent Origination (pratītyasamutpāda), and from this develop a complete set of methods allegedly for “gaining the right affinity.” The problem is that Buddhist theory does not contain a concept that directly corresponds to the modern popular understanding of “right affinity.” Moreover, in contemporary contexts, “right affinity” is often imbued with a strong fatalistic undertone and romanticized imagination—it is portrayed as something arranged by the Heaven, the only unchangeable and flawless partner. This view stands in clear contrast to Buddhism’s core teaching of Dependent Origination.
The truth revealed by the Buddha is the dependent origination of all phenomena: “All things arise due to causes and conditions, and all things perish when conditions disperse.” This means that every phenomenon in the world (including human relationships) is the temporary result of countless conditions coming together. When conditions cohere, they give rise to something; when conditions disperse, it perishes. Nothing is isolated, eternal, or predetermined to remain the same.
For this reason, the doctrine of Dependent Origination emphasizes the importance of conditions and denies absolute fatalism. Our past actions (karma) are important conditions, but not the sole determining factor. Present thoughts, choices, and actions likewise shape new “causes and conditions,” influencing future directions. Whom we meet and what kind of relationships we form are the result of many complex interwoven conditions (including personal karma, dispositions, environment, and proactive choices), not a script written unilaterally by Heaven or some supernatural force. All relationships, and all things in the world, are impermanent and empty of inherent existence or self-nature: they lack an eternal, unchanging essence. From the perspective of Dependent Origination, there is no isolated, independent “I” and “the other.” Relationships are dynamic processes of interdependence and mutual influence. There is fundamentally no fixed, unchanging “perfect partner” waiting for us; the quality of relationships depends on ongoing interaction and cultivation by both sides.
Ultimately, there is no inherent distinction between “right affinity” and merely “affinity.”
